


Who Am I Without You?

by InTheCompanyOfDragons



Series: Brotherhood AU [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherhood AU, Episode Tag: 1x01 Pilot, Missing Scene, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 17:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30025101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheCompanyOfDragons/pseuds/InTheCompanyOfDragons
Summary: "I must have stood outside your dorm for hours... because I didn't know what you would say. I though you'd tell me to get lost or get dead. And I didn't know what I would've done if I didn't have you." Tag to 1x01 Pilot. Brotherhood AU by Ridley
Series: Brotherhood AU [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/128211
Kudos: 8





	Who Am I Without You?

Who Am I Without You?

It was a chilly night in Palo Alto, at least Dean thought it was. He had spent the last 4 years trying his best to stay as far from the California border as possible. When he was forced to cross into the state for a hunt or on other Brotherhood business, a deep knawing pain always made itself known inside his chest. An emptiness that had never quite left him since the night he watched his family fall apart. 

Dean had seen Sam in passing during their years apart. But those few times were fraught with awkwardness and Sam's ever-present anger. These meeting usually took place in hospitals, when Dean thought he was going to die, and Sam was always gone as quickly as he has appeared.  
It had been nearly two years since the last time he had seem Sam. He had missed Sam's 21st and 22nd birthdays, holidays were pointless when it was just him and John getting drunk in a hotel room. 

Caleb had tried his best to fill the gap, and Dean appreciated the effort, but the truth was nothing had ever been the same for the Winchester's. John and grown colder and more distant. Dean had forced himself to harden so he could be the best hunter he could. And even when the Triad gathered at the farm there was a blank space that could never be filled. The farm had lost its magic. The dragons had lost their Prince. Everyone had gone off on their own path.  
Dean took two slow steps forward before freezing. He looked up at the fire escape on the third floor. The lights were off but he knew that someone was home. With a deep sigh he walked backwards towards his car, placing his folded hands on top of the shiny black roof. He could not bring himself to make his way up the stairs, but he could not bring himself to walk away either. 

He jumped when he heard his phone ringing, and swore under his breath as he saw the name pop up on the display. He flipped open the phone with a growl. 

"I'm a little busy here Damien." Dean whispered. 

"Busy pacing like a girl you mean. Here I am, sitting at a bar minding my own business, and I have your sad girly thoughts attacking my senses." 

"Well then stay out of my head, and let's not pretend you have ever minded your own business in a bar. What's her name tonight?" 

Caleb laughed on the other end of the phone. 

"First of all her name is Gretchen, we are soul mates… at least for tonight. Don't be mad because the ladies flock to me and run from you Deuce." 

"Right sure…" Dean muttered. 

Caleb cleared his throat and his voice softened.

"I'm not trying to read you kid, but I can't escape it even if I tried. So come on, lets just have this chick flick moment so I can go back to getting laid." 

Dean laughed a little at his friend's antics and then looked back at the third floor window. 

"Maybe I should just leave Damien... I mean Sammy seems to have a life here, got a girl, friends. Why am I even here?" 

"He is your closest contact, and the Knight is missing. It's not complicated." 

"He is not a contact though, I mean…. he's out." 

"No such thing Deuce. The Brotherhood is a life time responsibility. If there is one thing that Sam understands it is loyalty." 

Dean rolled his eyes. 

"Sam left the Brotherhood before, what the hell makes you think he will come back now? Chasing Dad? Last thing Sam is going to want to do is go after Dad, they haven't spoken in years." 

Caleb sighed deeply. 

"Those are excuses Deuce. You need help, I am 3 days away. You could be with Sam in thirty seconds. Try again. Why are you still standing outside on the street?" 

Dean slumped against the front of the Impala and swallowed hard. 

"What if… what if Dad isn't the only one that Sam wrote off?" 

"What the hell you talking about Deuce?" 

"What if I go up there and Sam tells me to piss off? To never come back? What if he never wants to speak to me again?" 

"Well… how is that really any different then how things are going now? You haven't spoken to your brother in what? 2 years?" 

"Because… If I go up there and he says that… then it's final. It means there is no fixing this. It means I've lost him." 

Caleb could feel Dean's insecurities, and he knew how much it was taking for the younger man to tell him all of this. 

"Look Deuce… I know that your brother being gone has been hard on you, hell I know that it has wrecked John too, but I've seen Sam without you. His life is not all rainbows and unicorns because you are gone. He misses you. If you ask, he will come help you." 

"How do you know that?" Dena growled in frustration.

"Because he is still your brother. No matter how much he has changed. When I needed his help finding you in New Mexico he came. If you ask him for help, he won't say no."

"I don't want to guilt him into coming Damien." 

"Deuce that is not what I am saying. Let me amend my earlier statement. The one thing Sam understands is loyalty, more importantly he has an unbreakable loyalty to you."

Dean looked up once more at the dark window. 

"Hey Damien… I uhh… I gotta go. I got something important to do." 

"Alright kid, let me know when you find John. And tell Sam hey for me." 

Dean flipped his phone closed and put his hand nervously through his hair. He stood up straight and made his way towards the fire escape. One of two things was going to happen tonight. He was either going to lose one of the only people who had ever truly known him, or he was going to get back a part of himself that had been missing. Either way it was time to move on from the past and start a new chapter. 

He climbed up the fire escape and crouched outside of the window. 

He had a little brother to talk to.


End file.
